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  • I can't let go of my unrepentent cheating husband - planetcirculate

    I can’t let go of my unrepentent cheating husband



    Dear Amy: My husband of 34 years has been cheating on me for years.

    When I confronted him last year and told him I knew everything, he said he doesn’t remember doing it. That’s an odd way to answer the cheating question.

    My problem is that even after all the things he’s put me through (giving her money, refusing intimacy with me, etc.) I still love him.

    Why do I love him? I have no idea. I definitely want a divorce, but I still care for him.

    After confronting him last year, I have been losing my hair and have lost 12 pounds all from stress. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I don’t know why I can’t be strong enough to let go.

    I have spoken to people about this, including my pastor.

    I need your advice on how I can let go.

    Hurting

    Dear Hurting: For most people, letting go is a process that can only be taken in stages.

    For you, letting go would start with you accepting the reality of your situation (you’ve done that). You should then come to grips with the fact that your situation is not likely to change.

    You should physically separate (at least temporarily) in order to remove yourself from constant triggers and clear your head.

    You should see a lawyer – even if you are not yet emotionally ready to divorce.

    You should focus on your mental and physical health. Your body’s reaction to this stress is evidence that it is harming you.

    Letting go is an act of courage. It is not necessary to stop loving the person who has hurt you, but it is necessary for you to learn to love and value yourself.

     Dear Amy: I have never seen a question like this in any advice column.

    I am a widow, and have been dating a widower for approximately six years. We have a very happy relationship. We have helped each other tremendously over the years to heal from our losses.

    The issue is my boyfriend’s daughter. She is a 34-year-old nurse (I am also a nurse) and she has had a difficult time moving forward after the loss of her mother seven years ago.

    I believe grief counseling would help her a lot, but I’m not sure she ever went.



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