Keir Starmer’s Week: I’ll not be singing ‘You don’t get me I’m part of the union’

WELL, yes, you may say it’s been a Rebekah Vardy of a week for me.

And, yes, Angela stared hard at me yesterday, her Medusa eyes saying, ‘Where I come from, if you sack somebody’s boyfriend for no real reason then you can expect his girlfriend to take you out the back and batter you like a fish.’

But, of course, that’s not going to happen, because as we know Angela has moved. She doesn’t live in Stockport any more. However, I do accept life becomes a little tricky living at the top of the Labour Party when you dump your deputy’s love interest.

As for the removal of Sam Tarry, the shadow transport minister had to be shown where to go, didn’t he?

And it wasn’t just that he took to the RMT picket line. He was sacked because he’s a great gob who fancies himself as the next Keir Hardie. Oliver Hardy more like.

And, yes, I said those in my party who joined picket lines would be judged on a case-by-case basis, but I’ve stuck to my word because Sam Tarry is a headcase.

I know what your next question is going to be. “What does all this mean for the divided Labour Party? Does Labour no longer stand for solidarity with those who go on strike?”

Well, what I’ve been saying all week is that a government doesn’t go on picket lines. And what this really means is I’m not going to go all ideological at a time when we’re just a light sniff away from running the country.

And there’s another thing; If we stand by the likes of the RMT it will look like I’m endorsing the terms of these strikes. And if we get into power, we’re going to be reminded of this every day by every striking trade union. Yes, meantime I’m upsetting the trade union leaders. But what do they do other than contribute to the Labour Party’s very existence?

Look, I myself have stood on the picket lines, such as in 2019 with The University and College Union, but thanks to the sheer buffoonery of Johnson and the acrid choice options in Sunak and Truss we’re so close to power. And I need to keep our supporters happy.

Who are my supporters, you wish to know?

Well, I know where you’re going with this, and I don’t accept that these days they are typically Waitrose shoppers. I’ve been assured that some have been to Morrisons, perhaps even Tesco, although I do accept the argument that some on the right of the party thought that Aldi was a food bank.

Meantime, I won’t be singing The Strawbs old chorus line ‘You don’t get me I’m part of the union.’

Yes, it was catchy, but mocking of union invincibility. And anyway, the Strawbs never had a hit after that.

What, they did, with Lay Down? Okay, but Angela can still suck up my decision. Just don’t tell her I said that.

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