Louise Thompson shares emotional video as she reflects on her PTSD battle


Louise Thompson has shared an update on ‘the most crazy year’ as she continues to receive treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder and post-natal anxiety.

The former Made In Chelsea star, 32, was rushed back to hospital last week but explained she was now home with her partner Ryan Libbey and their son Leo, eight months, and felt ready to speak out on her experience.

Speaking in a seven-minute video, Louise told viewers how her ‘brain shut down as a result of nearly dying twice’ during childbirth, as she detailed the intrusive thoughts which consumed her at her lowest point.

The TV personality admitted in her darkest moments she even hoped for a plane to ‘crash into the house and obliterate us’ and said ‘all she could think about was death’ because she felt it would be the easiest way out of the pain and suffering. 

Tough year: Louise Thompson has shared an update on ‘the most crazy year’ as she continues to receive treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder and post-natal anxiety

Louise also told how she was just two days away from having to undergo ‘life-changing’ surgery on her colon during her recent hospital stay as a result of her pre-pregnancy battle with ulcerative colitis. 

Appearing on camera, an emotional Louise said: ‘I’ve already tried to do this video six times and I’ve just bawled hysterically.’

‘I’m here, I’m back home, I’m on a lot of medication,’ she said, explaining that she was readmitted to hospital because ‘I was a couple of days away from having part of my colon removed and diverted through my stomach.’

While she has battled physical conditions as a result of her traumatic birth, she said ‘the mental side of stuff is ten times worse than the physical because it’s so much harder to control.’

Referencing her appearance on Instagram, Louise insisted: ‘Despite the fact that I might look incredibly well presented, happy, fit, well I’m really not. Mental health is the most cruel, invisible disease ever.’ 

Mental health: Speaking in a seven minute video, Louise told viewers how her 'brain shut down as a result of nearly dying twice' as she detailed her intrusive thoughts

Mental health: Speaking in a seven minute video, Louise told viewers how her ‘brain shut down as a result of nearly dying twice’ as she detailed her intrusive thoughts

Mother: The former Made In Chelsea star was rushed back to hospital last week but explained she was back home with her partner Ryan Libbey and their son Leo, eight months, and felt ready to speak out on her experience

Mother: The former Made In Chelsea star was rushed back to hospital last week but explained she was back home with her partner Ryan Libbey and their son Leo, eight months, and felt ready to speak out on her experience 

Continuing, Louise explained her rationale for speaking out was that she suddenly had  ‘all these racing thoughts about wanting to talk about my experience because it’s been really bad and not a lot of good has come of it, but the only good that can come of it is the ability to help other people.’

She added that she had received messages from men whose partners suffered with perinatal health ‘and sadly they didn’t find the means to find support and it didn’t end so well.’

‘I’ve had the most crazy year, you never think these things are going to happen to you. I had everything and it just all has been completely ripped away from me. 

Support: She added that she had received messages from men whose partners suffered with perinatal health 'and sadly they didn't find the means to find support and it didn't end so well' (pictured with her fiancé Ryan Libbey)

Support: She added that she had received messages from men whose partners suffered with perinatal health ‘and sadly they didn’t find the means to find support and it didn’t end so well’ (pictured with her fiancé Ryan Libbey) 

'Suffering': Since giving birth to her son, Louisa has been incredibly candid about her struggles with 'catastrophic PTSD' after complications while giving birth left her close to death

‘Suffering’: Since giving birth to her son, Louisa has been incredibly candid about her struggles with ‘catastrophic PTSD’ after complications while giving birth left her close to death

‘I’m very fortunate, I’ve had the support of my partner, I’ve had financial support, my family live close by, I’ve had the crisis team come and check on me every day for weeks making sure I take my medication, telling me every day I will get better. You need it drilled in your head.

Louise went on to talk about her darkest moments admitting that every time she heard an aeroplane fly over her house she wanted it to crash into the house and ‘obliterate us’ and that ‘all she could think about was death’.

‘My brain was so warped. I was scared of everything in my house, I was scared of my body, I couldn’t look in the mirror. 

‘I didn’t know I had a child, I couldn’t leave the house. I was petrified of being in bed and having continuous panic attacks back to back to back. 

Speaking out: Louise ended her video with a hopeful message, telling her followers that 'everything in life is transient. It will get better. You will find joy, you will find happiness again'

Speaking out: Louise ended her video with a hopeful message, telling her followers that ‘everything in life is transient. It will get better. You will find joy, you will find happiness again’

Reaching out: She accompanied her video with a lengthy caption in which she wrote that her prime focus is helping others

Reaching out: She accompanied her video with a lengthy caption in which she wrote that her prime focus is helping others

I couldn’t see, I couldn’t smell, I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t function at all.’

‘Every single thought was an intrusive thought so I wasn’t alive. I couldn’t have a normal thought. My brain basically shut down as a result of nearly dying twice. ‘

WHAT IS POSTNATAL ANXIETY?

As many as 17 per cent of new mothers experience postnatal anxiety after giving birth, studies suggest. 

It is thought to be caused by a combination of the shock of parenthood, hormonal fluctuations, and the impact family life has on sleep and stress levels.

Some women experience postnatal generalised anxiety disorder, which is defined as a constant state of anxiety.

This is where you worry about everything from your child’s feeding patterns to your ability as a parent.

Postnatal obsessive compulsive disorder occurs when a woman experiences distressing thoughts about harm coming to her baby.

And postnatal health anxiety is when the mind becomes preoccupied that there may be something wrong with the baby’s health.

Many anxiety sufferers feel tense and on edge, and battle a constant sense of dread.

They may also become paranoid that people can tell something is wrong.

And their mind is often busy with thoughts and continuously dwelling on negative situations.  

Physical symptoms may include:

  • Tense muscles and headaches
  • Pins and needles
  • Feeling lightheaded or dizzy
  • Sweating or hot flushes
  • Palpitations
  • Insomnia
  • Needing the toilet more or less frequently
  • Churning feeling in the stomach
  • Panic attacks

Treatment is made up of talking therapies and anti-anxiety medication.

People can help themselves cope by shifting their focus onto something small, like the details on a picture or the fabric of their clothes.

Breathing exercises and staying active can also help. 

Louise ended her video with a hopeful message, telling her followers that ‘everything in life is transient. It will get better. 

‘You will find joy, you will find happiness again. Whether you will have to take medication, that’s fine – it helped me.’

‘Please talk, please share. Please don’t feel alone. There are ways out. There is no magic cure for this disease and it requires patience. 

‘You have to keep going. There’s too many people with physical diseases that don’t have a choice whether to live or to die so please choose life and get help.’

She accompanied her video with a lengthy caption in which she wrote that her prime focus is helping others.

‘You might just watch this video and think that I’m totally mad but after everything I’ve been through I’ve not got a dime of shame left in this old bag of bones so I really have nothing to lose at this point. Dig in and judge all you like,’ she declared.

‘I’m not going to sugar coat things I’ve had a bloody rough ride over the past year. My life went from a 9/10 to a 1/10 in the space of about a month. 

‘I didn’t do anything to deserve it, but s**t just happened. I survived a house fire, a few near death experiences, a long old stint in hospital, and some CATASTROPHIC mental health breakdowns.’

Since giving birth to her son in November, Louise has been incredibly candid about her struggles with ‘catastrophic PTSD’ after complications during labour which led to two near-brushes with death. 

The former reality star added that her fiancé Ryan has now revealed to her that he is also is suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) in the wake of Louise’s battle. 

Louise previously explained how she wants to embark on a charity project to help others, explaining: ‘I had a meeting with my agent a few weeks ago which was lovely but also overwhelming.

‘I know I want to help myself and I want to help others but I don’t know how to do it yet. The scope of the charity project I want to embark on is a bit too big for me right now.’

‘I kind of want to work but I’m also scared. I guess I just need to do what feels right and authentic and then I can’t go wrong. 

‘My family think I should work because I loved it before. I don’t like people pushing me though. 

‘Hey, it sure as hell can’t make things any worse. And if this helps anyone else feel a bit more normal then I will get a bit of a kick out of that.’

If you have been affected by this story please contact Birth Trauma Association at birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

 For help and support with perinatal mental illness please contact PANDAS on 0808 1961 776



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