US talk show host Jimmy Kimmel has brutally mocked Prince Harry in a skit about the Duke’s injured penis and the revelation that his troubles with it reminded him of his late mother, Diana, Princess of Wales.
The Duke of Sussex’s penis and its brush with frostbite unexpectedly became a worldwide talking point last week after he wrote about in it in his explosive memoir Spare.
In the book, the 38-year-old royal described how his penis was “frost nipped” during his trip to Antarctica. The incident left his member “tender”.
A friend then recommended a home remedy for the malady which involved applying a particular cream to his penis.
Although the Duke didn’t name the Elizabeth Arden product, readers have speculated that it was the brand’s cult classic Eight Hour cream that the friend suggested.
That’s because of a subsequent line in the book where he wrote about how the smell reminded him of his mother, a known fan of the product.
“My mum used that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger?” he told his mate.
After the friend’s reassurance, Harry found himself a tube, writing that the smell of it transported him back to his childhood.
“I felt as if my mother was right there in the room. Then I took a smidge and applied it … down there,” he wrote.
Harry did multiple British and American interviews last week to promote Spare. However, he snubbed Kimmel’s show for that of rival Stephen Colbert.
Kimmel, whose show airs on the US ABC TV network, couldn’t resist going to town on the anecdote, to roars of laugher from the audience.
He read out a mock children’s book called The Prince and the Penis.
“The story of Prince Harold and his frozen yoghurt slinger is so popular there no releasing a version for kids, a twist on The Princess and the Pea.”
He then proceeded to read from the faux fairy-tale which was richly decorated with images of what appeared to a ginger prince, his friend a penis dressed in a bobble hat and mittens and an angelic princess in the clouds above.
“At the chilly North Pole, a silly young codger took a walk in the snow, and froze his wee todger,” said Kimmel, reading from the supposed book.
“The skin was discoloured, all purple and white. When Harry peered down, ‘twas a terrible fright.
“’Oh mummy, oh mummy!’ He cried with a scream, and from then on up high, she appeared with some cream.”
On the page, the princess in the cloud looked remarkably like Diana.
“’But mummy, did you not put this on your lips?’” Kimmel continued.
“’Oh yes, my dear boy, and also my nips, but do not delay or your knob be destroyed.’
“’But mummy have you heard about Sir Sigmund Freud?’”
That line sent the Los Angeles audience into fits.
Kimmel concluded the reading with a memorable last sentence, from the celestial princess.
“’Should ever you have icy chills on your hard-on, just give it a rub with Elizabeth Arden!”
Most of Harry’s sit down interviews were relatively soft affairs where the Duke was given free rein to lay into his family. On only a few occasions was his version of events scrutinised.
Tom Bradby, from the UK’s ITV News, has been a confidante of the Sussexes for years, but he did get some pointed questions in.
For instance, when Harry lamented the fact that the press wanted to expose his drug use in his younger years – including cocaine – Bradby asked: “Do you really think the third in line to the throne taking a class-A drug is not a matter of public interest? Do you accept that it is a matter of public interest?”
The Duke sidestepped the answer.
On CBS’ Late Show last week, Colbert didn’t push Harry as hard.
The Duke took the opportunity to have another stab at the press for his own revelation in the book that he killed 25 insurgents in Afghanistan who he saw as “chess pieces” rather than “people”.
He claimed the media reported he “boasted” about the killings, which he said was a “dangerous lie”.
Colbert said he had read the section of the book in question, and found it “a very thoughtful description,” adding that there’s “nothing boastful about it”.
But just like on Kimmel, the Duke’s penis was raised.
“We’ve taken quite a leap, from grief and trauma, to my todger,” said Harry.
Denial of responsibility! planetcirculate is an automatic aggregator around the global media. All the content are available free on Internet. We have just arranged it in one platform for educational purpose only. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, all materials to their authors. If you are the owner of the content and do not want us to publish your materials on our website, please contact us by email – [email protected]. The content will be deleted within 24 hours.